Chose the highest bidder was my answer when they told me I was up for sale.

Hiya loyal 3 readers. How are things? Thing here a pretty busy but content. So here's whats been going on...


Yesterday I met with my advisor to make sure my OU credits finally got correctly transfered (cause even though I was an English major at OU with 500 level courses under my belt, UC still told me I needed to take English 101....oh okay UC!). And guess what, my advisor RULES and finally got everything straightened out! I'm ACTUALLY graduating come spring! :)

So after that joyous 5 minute meeting (all my other advising meetings have taken 20-45 minutes to devise plans to correct credits), I headed to my mom and dad's to see the little babe. Actually, she isn't little anymore. Regardless, I got to hang out with AJ and have some akwardly hilarious conversations with my dad. Let's set up the scenerio here:

I'm looking in the fridge and ask my dad is we have any fruits or veggies hidden somewhere in the fridge.

Jimbow: There is bologna in there!
Me: No, dad. I don't want bologna.
Jimbow: But its in there. In that first drawer.
Me: Still not eating meat, dad.
Jimbow: Still vegan, eh?
Me: I'm not vegan, dad.
Jimbow: Oh, still a vegetable?
Me: Yep, still braindead, dad.
Jimbow: What?

Yeah, this is pretty much an average conversation between me and my father. It's always awkward. You should see us when we are team babysitting Alice. It's scary.

Me: AJ, let's read this book.
Jim: She likes to chew on that, Claire.
Me: Well, today we are going to read instead of chew.
Jim: But she really likes to chew on that, Claire.

Poor, Alice. Girl is going to grow up all kinds of wierd with my dad being her day care provider. How did Molly and I turn out ok? Anyways, it was nice to see my momma and have some deep conversations with dad. Oh and I made Alice wear this hat:


Today I had college. It was a fail as always. The people in my major are just soooo DUMB. It's amazing to me that these girls have made it this far. Our professor had to have a serious discussion with us about FB today. Awesome. I'm pretty sure she's referencing the fact that a girl in my class told one of our professors she needed to take her "topless pics off facebook." This is the class I am talking about people.

I made my first vegetarian tacos tonight (insert dirty joke here). I used "protein crumbles" instead of ground beef and oddly enough, it did taste very similar. SCORE! This vegetable stuff isn't bad at all.

Tonight I have to make a powerpoint on Gallaudet University for my Deaf Heritage class. The more we talk about GU in that class the more I realize I will never get in there. After that, I have about 100 pages to read in a text called "Deaf People in Hitler's Europe." I'm not anticipating a Danielle Steel novel here, kids.

thoughts of you warm my bones. i'm on my way, i'm on the phone.

Hiya kids. How are things? Things here are pretty tired and crabby. Long day of school and work. Luckily, I am listening to some fabulous indie calm music (Lisa Hannigan, "Sea Sew"... download that shit). Still, I have lots of things to show and tell you! Ready? K.

Saturday night we had another all black frat/hip hop private event at Topcats. Since we're all very very white, we always feel a bit under prepared. I don't mean this to be racist in anyway, it just a different culture that we are not accustomed too and often fail at accomodating (though we try).

Anyways, there ended up being about 300 people in TC with blaring rap music and lots of gross dirty dancing. When there are 20 people at the bar and only two tenders, people get pissed. Fact. Sometimes you have to be a bitch in these situations. Complete strangers do not have the right to call me a bitch however. Regardless, I'm pretty sure about 40 dudes called me a bitch, whore, slut etc because I didn't immediately come to them when they approached the bar. Sorry guy but 10 people are ahead of you and each fucking one wants 5 jager bombs or what have you so just wait your fucking turn. Then mass bitches vomited. It was just a bad night. I saw and heard a lot of stuff that made me really angry. For example, a guy and (I suppose?) his girlfriend are standing in the hallway:


Guy: Bitch, what you drinkin?
Girl replies. Guy takes it away and drinks it.


Ugh. Men are such fails. And those girls were fails for being treated like that. Whatever. I know its another culture but that really really makes me sad that any human gets treated that wasy and answers to bitch. Just not cool in my book.

OH AND THE MUSIC! There was a song called "Bitch, spread your pussy open". What good clean family fun. The boys found this song particularly hilarious and sang it to me (the lone female on staff) all night long. I assume this will continue too.


Anyways, so the bar made about 600-700 dollar. I made - 23. Yeah. I was not pleased. So around about 1am I realized how seriously fucked I am in tips. I told Jim and he told me to just get trashed. DONE AND DONE. I started pounding whiskey and PBRs. Come 2am when I'm cleaning vomit up in the bathroom, well, I quite frankly don't give a shit. I even don't mean being pretty damn rude to the stragglers still left at the bar at 2:30. Those boys are such babies about pushing people out. Me? Not so much. I simply go up to complete strangers and say " it's 2:30. We want to go home. You had fun. Now its our turn. You have 5 minutes before I chase you out. Thanks!"


Anyways, as I said I was drunk. Here are pictures to prove it.


Boys doing the spread your pussy pose. Lovely.


Jim.


Did I mention I was trashed?


Me and Dan.


So after that mess, Drew took me out for more drinkin. We went to the Stratford brothel. I got drunker, listened to the Beatles with Mike, danced with Lu, and coached Ashley through a quarter life crisis. The drunker I got the more people I told about my spring break treehouse adventure. Mike didn't believe it so I decided to call Jill to back me up. I forgot it was 5am. Ooops...I eventually went back to Drew's to pass out to the sound of Arrested Development DVDS. I woke up to "She wanted me to have something new. Sweet old thing." "only two of those things describe her...."

Anywho Sunday I spent recovering and grocery shopping. I bought my first "protein crumbles" which is just a ground beef substitute. The vegetarian thing is going well. I don't really miss meat much even. That really surprises me. I love a good chicken nug when I am drunk. Plus, I'm losing weight. YAY!

Today I had an audio exam. I don't think it went great but not bad. I was just too tired yesterday to really study. After audio I headed up to the computer lab for speech sci. I hate that class. I used to think my prof was hot but now I just think he's an ass. Plus, my class is like 40+ girls. And not just girls but fucking sorority dumbass whore girls. I no joke overheard a girl say "I better take my topless pictures off Facebook before someone masterbates to them!" These girls make me lose faith in humanity. Luckily, I have Jillbert and Sebastian to sit with and roll my eyes at. Oh, and make lots of "that's what she said" jokes with.

After SS we had clinical. I never do anything in clinical. Amazingly, my prof still loves me. I think cause shes never actually there (we always have specialty guest speakers) to see just how much I don't care/pay attention. Plus, outside that class she knows me as a hyper organized NSSLHA secretary.

I worked at Forever after school. I had to quit noodles before I really even started. I just know its all going to be a lot. I can't wait til I can have a grown up job, pressing buttons and makin' you crazy kids raise your hands and passing out hearing aids like candy. Having " AuD." after my name is going to be tight.


I think that's it for now. Night cuties.

the heat floats on top of our skin, like an ice cube in a glass of gin.

Hiya kids. How are ya? I am straight BEAT! But in the best possible way. I had a good two days.

So thursday night after noodles I began to hardcore plan out my plan of action for more donations for the banquet I'm helping plan for NSSLHA. I got numbers for the businesses we contacted via letter so we can call and visit them and guilt them into donating, and also got lists of the businesses that get so many requests they have a standard donation request procedure. I sent out an enourmous amount of emails to my org's president and faculty advisor. My faculty advisor is a nut (the woman calls us on our cell phones during weekends at like 11pm, emails us 5 times a day, etc) but super crazy organized and focused. I really admire how much she gets done for her students. Anyway, she sent me an email saying how efficient and organized I am. That was like a compliment from God for me. I flipped out. So sad how in love I am with this crazy woman.

Friday morning I had audiology. I pretty much didn't do anything but draw pictures of people wearing headphones and drawing little wiggle lines to signify noise. These are my notes. Every class. I don't know how I am an audio major. I am clearly learning nothing.

After audio I went to the zoo to fill our more paperwork and got a lesson in how to deal with the peacocks wandering in the store. This place is going to RULE.

After zoo, I worked at XXI. I got hired back as a sales associate even though I was a head cashier for like a year. Yesterday they told me it was simply so I could be rehired quicker (no background check for a SA, but needed for a HC) and they were going to fire one of the current HC. This means, I will go back to the easier job AND get a pay increase because I am technically getting promoted. Score! I really can't deal with working in a mall but thank god my bosses and co workers are fun.

Okay, this is when shit gets awesome. Last night at Topcats we had a DAAP Fine Arts private party called "Robot Rock!" Basically our friend Michael E is a DAAP student and he organizes an art show/concert/party once a quarter with us. We love this. We love scensters. So this time it was obviosuly robot themed. The basement bar, Fat Cats, was stocked with boxs, aluminum, markers etc to create robot costumes. Upstairs, Topcats, was stocked with unlimited PBR for $5 at the door and robot posters all over. Needless to say, I was pretty pumped about this. Drew and I worked the bar and had a blast cause we always do together. Mike worked the sound board and got super drunk as always and Jim and John had a blast seeing a bunch of dudes in skinny jeans. My good buddies Josh, Kyle and Adam came up solely to hang out with me at the bar (okay, myabe the PBR and whiskey I offered to buy helped....). I don't get to see these dudes often and about 3 years ago I saw them like everyday. I miss them. My buddy Doug from HS also came up to visit and tell me all of his love fails. This seems to be the thing we always have in common. He came with his ex but I didn't even bother to ask. It seemed like a situation I did not want to get involved in! Regardless, I love when Doug comes in because he always gets drunk, sits at the bar all night and screams "EY GIRL!" whenever he needs me. It really creeps strrangers out and that amuses me.

Later in the night when shit died down, I went out to the floor and robot slow danced with Michael E. You haven't danced until you've danced with a drunk robot, my friends. I then did a little dancing with another robot friend or two then headed back to work. Mike decided soundboard wasn't exciting enough so he came behind the bar with me while Drew did who knows what. Since Mike was TANKED I decided to coach him in his bar tending duties (keep in mind that the bands have been done for a half hour and there are about 10 people left at 1:50am). He (with a little instruction from me) made a Long Island and was hella proud. So much so that after making it he turned around to me, hugged me and lifted me off the ground in celebration. I fuckin love that kid! I decided to make him do all the bar bitchwork cleanup too if he wanted to be a bartender and he totally did! He even shooed out the stragglers at the end of the night. Drunkenly. So good.

Anyways, it seems like no matter how tired or how shitty my life is that day, week , month, working at Topcats brings me back up. I think its being around all these dudes. Some girls couldn't handle being the only chick in a group of literally about 5-10 dudes working on any given night. I on the otherhand LOVE it. These guys are so fuckin fun and sweet. I'm so glad I work there all the time.

What else is a girl in my position to do?

Hiya, kids. How are things? Things here are tired. What else is new?

Today was my first day at Noodles. The job is easy and I will be workin with Sam based on our school schedules. The people are cool too. My gm is a badass. I really like him a lot. I just don't know if I can handle school +NSSLHA, Topcats, Zoo and Forever 21 too. Something is going to have to go. Most likely Forever or Noodles or both. I love TC too much to give it up. And I really suspect the zoo will be pretty fun.


So maybe it's just being so busy but for some reason I've just feeling really bummed and lonely. And I am totally not that girl that can't not be in a relationship (I typically prefer to not be) but at this point I feel like I'd deal with an asshole boyfriend just to have some damn company from time to time. Chris is never home anymore either so I don't even have the occasional dinners/movies/hangout in the living room time we used to have. Plus, I'd typically see JD about once a week and now that he's auditioning for schools all over the US he's also uber busy. It seems weird that the two of us still hang out so often and get along so well considering we dated (twice!) and broke up (twice!). Still, he gets me so why bother trying to find someone new who has to learn me when I can have one who is already in the know? Plus, kid is one of very few people who speaks my dialect fluently.... (i.e. he uses "redick" in sentences and knows what "tri-sockin'" means). He also shares my love for Arrested Development and is quickly developing a love for Scrubs. At least we got to talk for a few minutes today and catch up. We planned a "date" for next week. We call them play dates cause we're really grown up like that. These play dates typically include beers and DVDS and making fun of one another. Today he even recommended music that I had actually downloaded yesterday. Like I said, he knows me. I do get to see my CSD girls pretty frequently and for that I am really greatful. I am also super greatful I had that trip to Chicago with them. I love me some NSSLHA drunkenness in Chicago. Jilbert and I had lunch dates a lot and I really love that. She's a baller.

I haven't gotten to hang out with Lauren or have a real conversation with her in a long time. That really bums me out.


So I guess this is kind of a lame and gloomy post but that's how I am feeling today. Tomorrow is my offical paperwork/scheduling meeting at the Zoo shops! YAY! This may seem like a dumb thing to get excited about but I miss having a routine job that I enjoy. After paperwork, I work at forever. Then, Topcats. Whew. BUT! Topcats is hosting "Robot Rock!" which is sponsored by DAAP. This means indie bands and art boys with tattoos and flannel shirts. This may solve my lonliness issues....

I would like to perfect the art of being studiously aloof, as if life is just a boring chore and I am living proof.

Hiya kids. How are you? I am Tired with a capital T. This week is super busy with school, NSSLHA and work. I am currently making a playlist of songs I like right now. It's entitled "SASSY MIX" for now. Here it is:



Yeah, its pretty emo/indie-tastic but whatever.


So today my friend Amanda posted pictures from our Fall Chorus concert.....


This is us looking cute and civilized.


So, this picture needs a bit of an explaination. During one of our carols for the Christmas Feast of Carols show we had to sing a sassy little gospel song. Our teacher, god bless him, asked us to add a little sass to our song. I gladly abliged... Jill and I leaned facing each other like this and tried to make each other laugh real hard each time a line was repeated in the song. Tech vest saw us, thought this was hilarious, and actually added it to the whole chorus. During the actualy performance he saw us doing this (and very much exaggerated I might add) and literally started laughing as he was conducting us. Then he saw me doing a super awkward dance in the hallway and mocked me for it several times in class after. I love that man. TRUE STORY.

Chorus was so stupid and silly but I loved it anyways. I think mostly because I had Jillbert and Amanda in it with me. Plus, my teacher wore a tech vest everyday without fail. He started out as a douche but by the end of the quarter I was pretty much in love with him and his tech vest of dreams....
Yep, the tech vest of dreams!!!!

Sadly, this quarter I couldn't take chorus but I will again come spring. We're going to Nashville! YAY! Luckily, my two beeyatches are taking it with me. And tech vest will be conducting. I emailed him to check. :)


Anyways, today was busy. I took a speech science midterm exam that consisted of 6 questions. Yes. Six. Ruben, you may be sexy but you fail as a teacher. After the test about 7 of us sat in the hall and just bitched about how big of a fail the test was. After that fiasco, I had clinical class. Also a fail. Then an hour meeting about planning the statewide NSSLHA conference. As far as I am concerned we should not even invite OSU. I hate their NSSLHA president and secretary. I really really wanna kick them just thinking about what they said at the last conference (if I have not told you this story, ask. I will gladly tell you about how much they suck). Then I went to my parents house where my mother proceeded to tell me more stories about Alice eating pureed food. Sweet mom. I get it, you don't love me anymore now that you have a grandbaby. Still, try to have an adult conversation.


Now I am updating NSSLHA membership spreadsheets and composing word documents full of conference planning notes. Exciting right? Nope.

Hot as a fever. Rattling bones.

Hiya kids. How are you? I am TIRED and a bit crabby. Oh noes! I just got off work at Forever 21 and came home to watch new Scrubs (!!!!) before a long night of studying Speech Science. Yuck.


So this weekend was very eventful and lovely. Let's do a rundown here:

Friday- Friday I worked at TC with Jimmy. We were the only two for a solid two hours. It was nice though because Jimmy is honestly one of the only people that truly gets me and I feel cool enough with to just sit with and do nothing. We watched the coneheads while it was slow. GREAT MOVIE! Eventually some kids came in. My buddy Caroline from NSSLHA came in with her drunk ass sorority friends. Don't get me wrong, I don't typically stereotype but KappaDaapaOmegaSlappas all really aggrivate me. This year I recently became really close with Caroline after sharing a room in Chicago for a few nights and was super happy to have her visit at TC. We talked about snuggies and how in chicago I got drunk as hell and spit my best game at her hot asian friend. I love hipster minorities, God help me. She left and shortly after my buddy Abby J came up with her man John (or as I call him, Civil War Beard or CWB for short) to drank some drinks. We knew Abby J was coming (and we assumed she'd be in a snuggie...) so we changed the marquee to say "WELCOME TO SNUGGIE NIGHT!". I love that I get to change the marquee. LOVE it. Sorry, awful CSD joke. A little while after Abby and CWB came, my old boss Gabe stopped up to see me as a bartender. I am super awkward as a bartender but luckily I am cute so he tipped me a lot. And bought me whiskey. And stared at my boobs. OHH just like the old days at HPT when I was a server and he was my creepo boss. Don't get my wrong, Gabe is a sweet guy but do you really need to show up on you off days and sit in my section and stare at me? Or tell me I look like Drew Barrymore when she was "sexy as fuck" and "used to fantasize about her". OH well, he kept it clean and we had some good chats about Cochlear implants and green-ing vacines to prevent autism. I love debating that shit.


Saturday- OH Valentine's Day. Well first off, I woke up and immediately bought my Kings of Leon tickets. I bought two even though no one has agreed to go with me for sure yet. Bethany says she will but since she's in Athens I want a back up. I called up JD and told him he still owed me for dragging me to a ween concert in columbus when we were dating. He grudgingly agreed. HOLLAR! So, VD night we were to hold a break-dancing competition at TC. Jim and I went up early to clean (espcially the floor so those crazy kids could spin their little hearts out). Working that night were myself, Jim, Drew, Johnny, Scott, Scott, and Michael. Yeah, me and dudes! What a terrific V Day! So I told the dudes that for valentines day I wanted to beat the top score of nudie photo hunt. OH AND GUESS WHAT I GOT! A 350,000 something score! Thanks dudes! Anyways, during the competition the bar was slow so I sat behind the soundboard with Mike and drank some G&T's and watched the dancers sass each other's faces off. I know now that that is all break dancing is: sassing. They seriously do some spins, weird spasms and then get in another dancers face, as if to say "TOP THAT SASS!" By the end of the night Mike and I were pretty drunk and laughing pretty hard at this sassing. During our time behind the board I told Mike about my elaborate dream where my facebook began to update itself and included my blood type. Mike laughed about this for a solid 10 minutes. Once everyone left, our crew decided to test out our dancing skills. It didn't go well. Saturday was the best valentine's day I've ever had. I love all my boys from TC so much. It was much better than a lame date with only ONE dude. Monogomy is for losers.


Sunday- Sunday Jill and I decided to have a homework/food party. This quickly turned into sleepover. We had dinner at Habenero (veggie burrito for me of course! I'm like 3 weeks strong here bitches!) and made fun of just about everyone in our major as always. Especially some interesting texts I received from a classmate. After that we headed back to Jill's to contemplate spending out summer in a treehouse. Yes, a fucking treehouse. Jill's buddy asked her (and for her to ask me) if we'd like to spend our spring break in a "forest hostel" in Georgia (foresthostel.com). As the night progressed, we both decided if nothing else, this will be a novel story to tell friends. Only Jillbert could talk me into this shit. After perusing pictures of our short-term home (which cannot be described as anything but a TREEHOUSE), we watched Rock of Love Bus and Tool Academy. This may sound ridiculous but trust me, this makes sense. Watching these shows makes Jill and I feel better about ourselves. Like ROL, after viewing one episode I realized how lucky I am to not own any leopard print clothes (apperantly that attracts the Bret Michaels types). After watching Tool Academy, I was suddenly thankful that I have not settled for a crappy boyfriend over being single because these bitches appreciate their boyfriends even making them salad. This girl FLIPPED out that her dude got caesar salad? Is that that impressive? Really? Is chivalry dead? Or is this girl just an idiot? Secret answer c, both. Anyways, after ROL and Toolness Jillbert and I watched some Sex and The City and mocked Miranda's baby orangutan post sex hair (even though I shouldn't mock, cus if I were getting any mine would be eeriely similar....). Jill passed out at like 1am like a baby and I stayed up drinking woodchuck alone til about 2. Oh and I watched old Saved by The Bell. I live for that show.

Monday - School. School fails. No stories there. Except my speech science teacher is so yummy. Thanks, Columbia! We appreciate it!

Today, Tuesday - I worked at XXI. Ugh. This place sucks but its money and its fuckin easy. I saw Leyla, Ana and Blaine. That was nice. On my way home I stopped at Noodles and Co because I had never been. Since I am an employee of N&C as of this Thursday, I thought I'd test that mother out. Wisconsin Mac and Cheese + Tobasco = CHEEZ SEX! It's sooo good. Now I am watching Scrubs and it is not new as the commericals advertised (!!!!). Even though I have seen this episode a few times now (thanks, online full episode player!) I still laughed super hard at, "What is Elmo, a seal?" and "I'm watching you John Dorian! And my eyes never shut!"



All in all, life is pretty good. Off to drink chocolate soy milk and devour my speech sci notes before my midterm tomorrow! See what I did there?!

well i wrote your name and burned it, to see the color of the flame. it burned out the whole spectrum as if you were everything.

I've gotten into this weird habit of reading tons of posts from http://community.livejournal.com/indiemixtape/ and downloading songs. So far we've got:


untouchable face - ani difranco
does he love you? - rilo kiley
don't call me peanut - bayside
first day of my life - bright eyes
we've got company - you.me.we
love and some verses - iron and wine


lots of sigur ros. god, I'm so indie/emo now.

infant versions of my genes in baby jeans.

Hiya kids. How are ya? I'm pretty good. I'm watching some Tyra and smelling like baby powder after spending the morning with my niece Alice.


Like I said, today was spent with my niece Alice. I have Thursdays off so I decided to hang out at my parents and check in on them and muh bay bay. She was rocking some baby jeans. AWESOME. I stayed long enough to play, and watch her eat lunch. Needless to say, through it all she remained adorable.


Alice, noming on some baby food




guess this one wasn't too great....


my favorite....


80's pop star hair...


just chillin.


baby jeans!




On top of baby jean awesomeness, I found out Hannah, one of my kroner babies, will be coming with me to the Cincinnati Zoo. She will be my zoo baby! YES!


All in all, a pretty great day.

doctors played your dosage like a card trick. scrambling down the hallways playing yahtzee.

Hiya kids. How are things? Things here have been better. But it is what it is, and when life hands you lemonade you ask for whiskey instead. See what I did there?


So a lot went down last week. Most of it not so great. About two weeks ago now I found out my grandma's sister passed away. While Carol lived in D.C. and had for years, I still felt close to her and the entire Cambell portion of my family. Somehow, whenever we are together it feels like we've always been together all along. So hearing from my mom that this amazingly silly, strong, independent woman had passed away was quite a blow to me. Carol has been sick for a long time (arthritis, and recently dementia related to falling and a subsequent stroke) so in the end it was for the best. I think what particularly got to me about her passing was the reminder that my grandma was gone. My grandma's death was one of the worst times in recent years. I was in a terrible living situation, had an unstable ex who was actually threatening me, and was really doing things to myself I shouldn't have been. Hearing Carol was gone brought up some really really terrible thoughts and emotions. Luckily, my terrific roommate and fake husband came home and simply let me cry. He held me and let me freak out. It was just something that had to be done...

Meanwhile, the following day I had heard from my close friend that he was having some serious health concerns. He had lost feeling in his hands/arms and feet/legs for extensive periods of time and was being tested for ms. Absolutely terrifying. While this friend and I don't always hang out now, we were inseperable for 4 years. After hearing this from him, I kind of lost it again. It was like when my grandmother passed away that things seemed to be piling up on each other. I was terrifed for him. The worst part of it all was not being able to do a damn thing for him. Being helpless is the worst feeling in the world.

Fortunately one of my regulars from TopCats offered to take me to the Murder By Death show to cheer me up and help me out of my rut. Even better, the boy I was mildly interested in, informed me he would also be at the show. Music, booze and boys. WIN. Sadly, he informed me he was now dating someone. Eh, mild fail. I was mostly afraid of awkwardness at a fun show. Anywho, at the show I proceeded to drink lots of PBR and whiskey. WIN. The show was fun and the music was amazing. It was good to see the dude cus he's rad, gf or no gf. I think the show was what I needed to get myself together. Until that night I was having a pretty pretty dark week. Luckily, regulars, booze and friends pulled me up from being down.

Friday I had a meeting for a job interview. I totally got it. I now work at the Cincinnati Zoo. I am a sales lead which means I supervise manatee related retail. AWESOME.

After my job interview I received a phone call from my friend experiencing the health issues. No MS. In fact, an easily treatable disease which is completely curable. FANTASTIC.

Basically, this week started as Debby downer but is now.... uh....Good. Real good.




these have never been will they never be interesting or have a flow to them. sorry. :)